The Sailor: The Sailor has been coming to Me for over two years now. He had been tying himself up for over 40 years almost every night, but had no one to do the tying up for him. He was closeted, not out as gay and moreover, he was angry. His anger came out in sessions and sometimes would spill out in our time together.
My first job was to establish the hierarchy that must exist in a Dominant/submissive relationship. In the beginning, this was not easy at all. The Sailor has a highly responsible job managing many people and so expected to ‘call the shots’ with Me. He also wanted to be able to experience true BDSM scenes so that he could add more reality into his writing.
One thing you need to understand is that this doesn’t work with Me and that is not because I cannot take instruction; on the contrary, it’s because a scene will not work if the sub tries to ‘top from the bottom’.
Over the course of many meetings and many challenging forms of BDSM activity, trust was built and now The Sailor is one of My more regular clients. I also consider him a friend. Now, we have an understanding and as a writer himself, he has been able to channel his writings into something that is more real.
Here is what The Sailor had to say:
Anticipation. A fierce anticipation is what I feel as my next appointment with the Master draws closer. Balanced with that knot in the stomach that comes from being really quite scared. He is an expert at that. The kind of ‘scared’ that guys about to jump out of an aeroplane feel when they’ve done it several times before. All the plans are in place, the safety lines checked and I am sure a full ‘Risk Assessment’ has been done somewhere! But I’ve still got to jump out of an aeroplane. Not naturally sane behaviour perhaps.
We talked about this once when He asked me to rate how frightened I was as I sat strapped into His chair; Tit Clamps on and the session well underway and the choice of a crop or a carpet beater being offered. It was my second visit and I replied about 3/10. He was disconcerted but we discussed it afterwards. (Of course I ended up with both). Scared and frightened are NOT the same thing. Oh yes I was scared – probably 9/10 at the time.
But on my first visit I was definitely frightened; it was a leap into the unknown. I had only been ‘Out’ into S&M for about a year and wanted to try so many things; my level of understanding of me and my desires was really low. Was I a Sub or a Slave? Was I really much of a masochist? Would I be out of His door after the first hour? We had talked at length in advance of ‘Risk averse consensual S&M’ (Note Master I may have got the phrase wrong) . After several sessions of exploration and discussion it turns out that I am definitely not a slave but when with Him I seem to be a real Sub and a sort of masochist, enjoying the experience of letting myself go, exploring the heights of an endorphin rush that I can’t get in the ’normal’ sessions that I have with my Switch friends. I love them a lot and we have a lot of fun but it is just not the same. Perhaps because I feel responsible for the event and everyones safety much of the time.
When visiting the Master I think that it’s the fundamental level of trust I have in His competence and moral standards. I can step into the person that is hidden inside my head; that I share with very few and only fully allow to take control of ME when I’m in His dungeon. Because of that I understand so much more than I ever have about myself, I have relaxed into enjoying the normally Kinky me and no longer ashamed of the way I’ve been all my life.
Make a booking and see what I mean!!!!!
Oh and the memory I have that keeps me scared? A picture of the Master as he flogged my back for the second time. Face hooded in shadow with an expression of overwhelming sexual pleasure and pure evil. Oh yes I am SCARED!
Steellock / Sailingmate